March 7, 2011
It's too difficult not to be sad about things. About anything. As soon as I am happy I am desperately scared of being sad again. I get these sort of depressive moments, when everything seems so damn hopeless, and sad. Just massive sadness. And so there is a lot of pressure on my happiness to continue, and sometimes this pressure gets too huge, and the happiness collapses under it, and the cycle starts again. This is irritating, as I know I'm the one causing it. Basically, I just need to relax. I'm going running tonight. I don't particularly want to go, I feel lazy.