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July 11, 2018

Closing down one part of my activity and preparing for the next to commence gives me an oblique sense of progress, or it would if I could avoid the sense of loss and failure as I close doors behind me and move on. Always starting something new, moving through, acquiring new ideas, ways of thinking, accessing new pathways, making connections that should knit the world around me, seems useful it could be described as skill acquisition but it is not natural or easy: every time its a wrench, it breaks and bends before there is healing. It feels like brainwashing.