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Last day is past yay! And so the new day starts. And the new month. And the week too! Coincidentally. Feeling like I'd better make the most of this one...
I think I feel that way about all days lately though. And weeks. And months. And years. And as time goes: decades. Longer phases of time as to which the passing of I was formerly not privy... and whenever did my lingual structures complicate so much and lead me to sidestep around words more naturally than I would just walk through them?
Times change. We change. Life's rough. But this month starts alright so alright: I'll make the most of this one too.
All things due.
First day of the month didn't start so great.
Well it started great, but I feel like maybe the greatness came in a too big wave, and drained me of greatness, and by the end of the day I'd lost my sunshine.
I ended up stressed instead, privy to all the things I hadn't caught up with during the day; all the things I should've done. Maybe my boss wasn't totally happy with my performance either. Maybe I let myself down a little.
Maybe I should've said something when we bumped into our mutual acquaintance during the lunch walk, cause my break is limited and apparently tasks were waiting...
Stuff like that, that make you say things. That make you hollow. That make you vacant. That when you sleep: your mind gets chasing. But it's improval! It's what we do all.
New day's adjacent.
I may be dense but, I have an immense butt.
A lot of walking, you know?
Actually it's not that immense. I know this makes no sense. I woke up in the morning and this popped into my head, so I'm writing it down hence. Just to reinvent my henge. To get me in a new mood. A new groove. New tense.
Like it doesn't apply to me. But it does cause I do flee. Every day the computer screen, and walk around like a humachine.
Is that what you are to me though? Why I'm pacing?
I have inspiration.
Internet was down today.
All day at the office.
I took early lunch, thinking it might be back when I got back, but I got back and it wasn't, and so I spent the rest of the day working on spreadsheets... which is not all that an unusual task really, but it was an eye-opener on how much I usually stray to the net for other things during the day anyway. With no customer calls. No quirks on the site to troubleshoot. No tasks to run in parallel to the list work, like double checking numbers via online catalog... we really are reliant on the net these days!
Then I got home and spent a couple more hours doing things I had to do with Internet access; finally ended my work day around 9:30...
Good day though. In a way... it felt refreshing.
Unsettled thoughts, intents, feelings... that's what I figured I'd write about today. When I woke up at 6:30 this morning with a particular grievance still fresh on my mind.
A friend who lies too much. Who never says they're sorry. Who's been getting on my nerves more and more over the years, and recently hit a bit of a boiling point when he couldn't make it to a birthday meal I'd prepped in his honor.
One hour before said meal. When all the food was done, everything packed, and I was ready to go, and now he's acting like he's mad at me for being mad at him for not even saying sorry.
I don't think I'd let this eat at me as much if he just said sorry...
A hundred words isn't enough apparently.
I thought I'd write this out of me but it seems the frustration just comes back all the fiercer when I write about it.
Oh well. Show tell. Some other day.
Was planning to write about how shitty I felt today, but since I felt so shitty I went and did other things, and at the time of writing i no longer feel so shitty at all!
My headache's lifting, dinner was good - in a not too crappy/stuffy kind of way, and I'm about to start writing for real and maybe get some serious work done tonight.
Well maybe not serious but: some things. A couple responses I should be sending. At least one post I should be posting. A little stuff like that. About to get to it.
Late but better than never right.
I just wrote a haiku about how it's the day of rest today. The day with no expectations... I try to tell myself, though truth is I went to bed feeling I had dues left to do, and woke up this morning ready to get to ditto! But how come I just cannot get to those particular dues in due time?! I woke up a little earlier than usual, but skipped to social media interactions instead, and now it's been an hour and a half already.
There's two things I need to do today. Well one thing, but one thing I've been postponing for longer that I want to do first. After that there's two things that aren't a particular rush, but would be good to get out of the way.
After that there's a few slightly more time-consuming things of which the deadline is all the less precise... but it'd be good to get to those too.
In short: it doesn't really feel like a Sunday after all, but maybe it will if I just stop stalling with those first ones and move on...
Aye aye aye!
I'm up earlier today! I didn't get to sleep earlier yesterday but I'm up anyway. The trash collectors came around around seven and woke me up, I fell asleep again, maybe tossed and turned a bit but still got up half an hour earlier than I'd planned, sun seeping into my room, took a cold shower, took a walk (I usually never have time for one of those before work) and now I'm sitting here, doing what I'm doing...
The sun's still shining outside and lunch is just around the corner. Time for another, slightly longer walk then. Half hour break.
Feeling pretty good about the day today.
Today didn't really start the way I'd hoped it would! I woke up late, for starters, though that was to be expected since I went to bed late/was tired/ate a bit more than I usually do before bed.
I took my cold shower. I ate my breakfast. I got my coffee. I prepped for the day. I took a long walk. I ate a light lunch. I've got some interactions done, and sent a message I should've sent yesterday, but the most important things still await, and it's my free day!
Why do I still have such trouble getting to the things I need to get to first?
In a way it seems my weekends have become spare time work days, and when a free day like this comes along... I begin by resting up first.
Suppose that's not a bad thing either, but after I write this I'm a do what I need to. ASAP. Whatever's next after that.
Aaand it's snowing!
Early March, and here we are still. It's winter again. Might just be for a few days but for now the flakes are falling down, covering the ground in appreciable white, and I'm sitting indoors, on the upper floor, with a small cup of coffee.
It's a glass actually. I like to see what I drink.
Feeling good about today so far. Mom greeted me with the most murderous news fresh of the radio when I entered the kitchen, but I've taken my cold shower, I've eaten breakfast, I've done a few squats and I'm about to get stuff done in the comfort of my home right now. So never mind that.
Life's not so bad after all.
Hey man. It's a new day huh? What you gonna to today? You gonna brood? You gonna get moody? You gonna get busy? You gonna do what you want to do or what other people want you to do or what you think you oughta do but don't really want to and such feel like you just waste your time doing?
I'd recommend one of those middle things. preferably what you want to do. I don't always live by my own advice, but I know I should, because that's the only way you really feel alive you know?
Listening to the Joe Rogan Experience #1015 right now.
Not that it's a particular episode, but it felt like an interesting thing to imprint in time. A random timely or material tie to a moment in writing.
Reggie Watts seems a cool dude but the conversations this time around aren't the most enlightening, so I've decided to let it play in the background as I write this, it may break my focus a little but I'm feeling efficient today so I'll take that chance.
They're speaking of Memphis meat, comedy and tourism right now. All good things. I shall work on and listen...
Didn't realize it was the thirteenth today, but that explains my sister's headache, and the afternoon tea session we had to cancel... though mom had already picked out dual sets of gluten-free cake from the freezer, of which I've gorged on one. Chocolate cake. With a little whipped cream on top. How can you not.
Otherwise it feels like I'm just interacting beyond my capacity these days. I've got stuff to do too but there's so many people to speak with; so many enlightening conversations I'm trying to keep up with in parallel...
It doesn't work. In the long run. There's a limit.
Think I'll be focusing a bit more on my own projects today.
It really feels good to start a day the right way.
Feels good to wake up at ten even on a Sunday. Feeling like you've slept enough. Going through your diary first thing you do. Showering. Shaving. Getting through the minor dues of the day, like this, before I get to the major ones, like a little interview I've been both brooding and looking forward to complete...
It is Sunday. It is the day of rest. But I'll feel all the more rested when I've done some things I feel stressed with, no? And the strange thing is, that when you're really focusing on the right things, no matter how much you have to work with... you don't feel so stressed after all.
It's a rush of satisfaction, more so.
But really though, we do all need a break occasionally; I'll probably take my Sunday on Tuesday.
Participated in a jam again yesterday, and what a jam it was! I've been hyped for it all week and then some.
Recorded voices to the best of my abilities, but I hadn't heard them included until this came out. Had to do a few re-takes. Pondered if they turned out as good as they should. Questioned the direction the director was taking with 'em. No little WIP stuff along the way to see if it was turning out the way it ought to... but the day came, everything was done and it was good.
That's how you hype.
*One more night...*
Though replace the asterisks above with musical emojis, if we had support for emojis around these parts.
I woke up same time I usually wake up these days, but fell asleep a bit later than I usually fall asleep yesterday. Had dues to do. Tried to get them done. Time chugged on a bit longer than I thought it did, lost track of time... long story short: a little tired today.
Took my last energy shot from the cupboard, and I'll probably need a couple cups of coffee too later, but for now I am on on.
Let's go strong.
Time to put on my game face again. Work face again. Get stuff done today. Yesterday was a... tired session.
Didn't sleep enough. Didn't get enough done. Felt like it was a pretty worthless endeavor getting through the day overall, but... at the same time i did feel like I rested up a bit. Woke up today feeling fresher. Still a little tired (cause I just can't seem to get my bedtime times right) but not at all as weary. I haven't even had a coffee cup yet and I'm already typing like this.
Good with a weekend day occasionally; even on a weekday.
Self-motivating one hundred words and then some hey.
Suddenly stumbled into the world of DaaS.
That's Desktop as a Service. A type of cloud-hosting where you actually pay for a virtual OS up on the cloud.
The use case for something like this would be if say you can't have your own computer on all the time, but want to perform a task that takes a long time to perform, and as such choose to boot up a virtual environment where you can run said task all day all night, as if it was a server with a GUI.
I've never tried a Windows server. Wonder if things like this would be possible there too...
Connecting to said remote computer remotely was apparently a bit of a problem, might've removed certain functionality with the OS I currently use for security boost, but I did do it! So here we go.
Windows on the cloud. Who would've thought...
Another day, another cup of coffee, another tired tired morning but... sun is a warming cuz. The suns are a storming. The alarms are a blaring. I just thought I'd be sharing. Some of my day with you here in. Be you a Heron or a Flareon. Be you fictional or real. You're still all of my ideals. You're like a pharaoh, forever here you know, in my heart cause there's my soul, like good music blaring loudly. I'll sit down and say this proudly: I'll make this day the matter. That matters. The most.
CDB from coast to cast.
The vaccination thing's such a hot potato...
You can't bring it up with people. Not with all people, at least. Some get defensive. Some get offended. Some see you as hurt. As one who makes things worse. As one who's cold-hearted or crazy...
But it's really the other way around. I care about people. I don't want to see anyone I care about die; especially if it could easily be avoided.
And I don't want the world turned into a surveillance state, where you can't travel or partake in life like everyone else without resorting to medications that I believe shouldn't be forced upon you. We should be allowed to choose what we consume; what potential dangers we expose ourselves to.
Wish we could get back to seeing the nuances in things, and to have open discussions, instead of holding back your views since you fear being attacked just for having them...
Try to keep an open mind; I'll try to too.
Looking out at the world. Trying to have discussions with people. Feeling slightly absurd. Trying to be open minded and get as high as a bird, in the skies to observe. But still bias weighs as heavy upon me as I believe upon her. So are we getting anywhere or are we just fleeing these furs? Trying to come off more as human, than as the fleas that we were. We as a species overrate us. berate us. Please. Down to earth.
Wow. That turned out better than I thought I would... but in less poetic phrasing: discussions are so difficult...
Supposedly there's a new 100 Words redesign on route soon, and I am looking forward to it... not so much the design itself as an extension of the functionality we have currently. It'd be nice with certain things added in; certain things fixed.
I'm quite happy with the site overall, outdated layout or no, it works well.
It's always a fear with redesign plans that they may go overboard and turn out clumsy and overblown, instead of simple and efficient as they used to be. Like the IMDB one currently going on that I seriously hope they rethink...
But yeah, looking forward to seeing how it turns out either way.
Lots of life contemplations lately. In reverse order. As I catch up here.
Lots of not knowing where I'm going. And pondering the future. And knowing what's an omen.
Lots of staying up late night, cause you don't look forward to the morning. Just want to let it stray by.
Lot of what you make life. Lot of just the same guise. Lots of is it plane/fly. Lot of am I the same guy. As I was years back...
And is that a good thing or is there something I lack, with regard to actually getting places and feeling.
If it was December it'd be Christmas now. If it was July it'd be vacation. If it was a parallel reality where I was an entrepreneur and worked for myself it'd be either vacation always or vacation never, depending on my work ethic, and knowing me it'd probably be the latter...
So maybe the current reality isn't all that bad after all. Everyone has dues. No one has the entirety of their life off - and it wouldn't be much fun if you did either - but it feels like the thing it all boils down to is who your boss is. If you feel they're royalty and want to devote yourself to them entirely, or if you want to be your own. And then you can be truly happy; fruitful; feel like you're getting places.
I don't know which I'd prefer but... seems easier to be your own boss than to find one that's truly perfect; work with the truest purpose.
For a moment I managed to keep up with these pretty well, writing down things every day, being struck by inspiration and rhyme and whatever I had time for... not sure anymore.
I fell behind with my dairies too. Not sure I want to write. Not sure there's much reason for it.
Not sure what I'm talking about here really. Inspiration comes and goes. Of course I'll keep going. I'm just at a temporary low, and as I'm writing this I'm thinking about other things that are really all the more prominent, and as such... I'm not really thinking about what I'm writing
Well this was sort of meaningless wasn't it.
Thinking about my future lately...
I'm not really at the place I want to be right now, or headed where I want to go, but wherever I'm headed I am getting better. Feeding on experiences. Eating decently. Saving my money. Looking for opportune investments, occupations and maybe a place to live that I can call my own and stall as home.
I'm not getting younger though. I'm not sure I'm being as proactive about my choices as I need to be. I'm not sure I'm really making the most of the time when everything feels relatively easy, cause who knows when it may turn; I need to toughen up and get out in the 'real world' for real...
But maybe this is the real world for me. As far as me and reality goes, maybe it really is pretty easy. Maybe apathy and weakness are the only threats...
I had plans and stuff, but I guess I'm doing some of them right now. I caught up on Discord, on PMs, on email, on Freelancer, on site updates and comments, got my hair cut, took a walk, had some lunch, cleaned up my desk, caught up on diary writing, started some file operations, tested a few queries that turned out wrong, wrote my haiku for the day and now I'm writing this thing...
I guess it's not going so bad after all huh? Catching up on more than I expected, I just don't appreciate it as much today as I might have another one...
When did I skip a day?!
Somehow I skipped this day. I didn't think I did. I had all the time in the world to write something for it, but somehow it passed me by anyway... yet I am here today, to do something about this, to fill in this particular textbox as if it's a different one than the next one. As if I don't already have the time machine that lets me toggle, and move between through these with ease, one after the other, a whole month at once, possibly.
A whole year though? Nah can't do that.
Listening to a Bert Kriescher podcast today, on Joe Rogan, and I'm reminded of how he's not just one of the funniest dudes out there, but one of the realest, and nicest, most humble, most spontaneous, and just overall most enjoyable one I'd have the honor of listening to a podcast to... though I'm pretty sure I'm spelling his name wrong above.
Tom Segura might be on a roll but he's so much more calculating. Compared to Bert most people somehow come across almost deceptive. Rogan too sometimes.
I guess that's what happens when you interact with someone who is just... pure.
Gotta love Bert.
It's not bad is it?
Started today's haiku the same way. Didn't know how else to start. Some random wisdom and observation. Cliff-related. Sandwich-related. This won't make sense unless you read the other bit too.
I'm eating breakfast and looking out the window, feeling like I managed a fair bit yesterday, but I still feel fat. Hope to exercise a little today too. And hope I don't eat more than I need to. It's all too easy.
And I should've written down my dream yesterday when I still remembered it clearly. Seemed like a good kind of dream.
Didn't realize it was the last day of the month already, but here we are now... I finally caught up on my dairy entries and all yesterday; caught up on a bundle of movies; managed at least some good things this month. And tomorrow's the last work day before Easter, so that's something to look forward to too.
I've been exercising the last couple of days as well, and it really is true as they say. That it's necessary. If you want to live a viable lifestyle then it's a must-do. Doesn't matter if it's just for a short moment: get some each day.
Work out and it all works out.
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